The Unhappy Tale of Two Chicks following a Man Lost in the Woods (who won't admit he's lost)

It was a day like most others in Maui.  The sun was shining, the birds were chirping (loudly and early in the morning as usual) and we were headed to Avery's cousin's place in the mountains so he could take us on a hiking trip.  All was fine and good while we meandered through the Maui mountains.  We should have gotten a clue as to what the day would hold when the Cousin who shall remain nameless drove around in ever increasing circles for over an hour before stopping and getting his bearings and more gas (Warning #1).  Upon getting the right directions to the hiking trail, we wound our way up the mountain only to find the trail had been closed down due to dangerous conditions.  Who knew Maui got tornadoes? After twiddling our thumbs awhile, the Cousin decided to try another, shorter trail at the Waihou Springs State Forest.  The trail was a loop with a side trail to a lookout that all total should have been about 2.5 miles.  We started down the trail to the spring which was very steep and easy to slip and slide down.  At the bottom of the spring trail, we saw a large and ominous sign telling us that we were at the end of the trail (Warning #2).  There was no water at the spring and no other clear paths or trails to follow (Warning #3) but the Cousin told us he knew the way to the lookout which he had last visited 18 years ago.  Hopping river rocks and bushwacking our way through what was clearly not a trail, we continued to follow the man who knew there was a lookout but couldn't quite figure out how he last got to it.  We got to the end of the gorge and had to literally claw our way up the mountain to get to the aforementioned lookout. Near the top, we could actually see the remnants of a trail but it looked like it had not seen steady use in at least a decade.  We crested the mountain and found ourselves at the edge of a massive stretch of pasture land, (picture the scene in the Sound of Music where Maria is singing on the mountain top)  and after we caught our breath, we were able to appreciate the incredible view.  That was the highlight of the first half of the hike.  Things went downhill from there literally, then back up the hill and back down and back up. (You're getting the picture, right?) The Cousin decided it would be better if we tried to find the "real" lookout trail  given how hard it would be get back down the way we came.  After climbing up and down the edge of the mountain more times than we could count, crossing numerous barbed wire fences, and getting scratched by blackberry and thornbushes galore, the Cousin  led us down a gulch only to find houses hidden among the bush.  He tells us not talk as we could quite possibly be shot for trespassing because who knows why someone might want to live this far from civilization.  At this point, we are tired, hungry, and thirsty.  We were only prepared for a 1 mile hike, not a mountain climbing expedition at 6,ooo feet.  Our one stroke of luck came when Avery pulled out her awesome Iphone and we were able to use the GPS feature and find our position and point ourselves to the nearest road.  Over a few more hills walking through the pasture land that we were not supposed be on, we found ourselves at the end of the road.  All we had to do was hop one more fence and we would be home free or least on our way back to the car.  Avery and Cousin had just made it through the fence and I was making my way out when the owner drove up in a truck behind us.  The Cousin told us just to keep walking and let him handle things.  Nervously, we continued covering pavement and as the owner closed the gate, he thankfully just drove by us and left us alone.  We were home free at last.  We got the car and gulped down as much water as we could stand then went to go eat at a local dive in the cowboy town of Makawao.  So the moral of the story is...always pay attention to the warning signs and never follow a man lost in the woods!